As many of you know, I struggle with infertility. It's more common then people realize. In October after my first IVF procedure we were blessed to get pregnant, on February 4th at 18 weeks we lost our daughter Aubree Rose.

Infertility issues are a problem I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. The ups and downs of fertility treatments can be some of the most emotional and traumatic experiences of your life. When it works your completely ecstatic and everything in the world is bright. When it doesn't you are so low that depression takes over like a tidal wave. Nothing can bring up  your spirits, you end up spending hours just crying. I have spent more than my fair share in a ball under the covers crying out 'why me".

I'm not here to go on about my struggles, but I'm hoping you will take a moment to listen to my dear friend Tia. Tia is experiencing some fertility struggles I am very familiar with, I'm hoping desperately that you my wonderful readers can help her out:

The journey through the land of Infertility can be a very dark and cold place. I try to make my visits infrequent and short in duration when I do. All that being said I really have no control of any of this at all. At times I can talk a good game. While visiting a while back , 2 summers ago, I had the most saddening, difficult and just plain messy time. Before I get into the story let me go back and say something. When you are in a dark place it can take very little to push you over the edge.

On my 34th birthday, We decided to work on our weight, hubby lost 30lbs and I lost 45lbs. It was important to have everything aligned so that we would be prepared to conceive.  My husband and I were heading home from exercising in the park. We had just come into my building, usually we run up the stairs to our apartment as our last sprint. He runs up first, and as I'm about to run up when my second floor neighbor comes out of her apartment. She says hi to me as I run past her. I stop trying to be neighborly and say hi back. She instantly says, are you pregnant? Afterwards I'm thinking my birthday has just gone downhill and probably won't recover.

I then try to give her an out by saying no why do say that and she says clear as day because you got fat. In this very moment every negative emotion you can think of is running through me. I feel like cursing her out, telling her how inappropriate she is however all I could do is climb the stairs with my head held low and tell my husband what just happened. Of course he wanted to go back down the stairs and curse her out but I wouldn't let him. After this experience and many more, I can be caught saying, I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy.

When we found that we were going to have to move toward IVF we were devastated. We were told that my right Fallopian tube was blocked and the left one didn't function at all. We couldn't grasp what we were hearing let alone believe it was happening. Never in my wildest dreams did I think something so horrible would happen to us. The doctor gave us what he called interesting news, in my head I wondered, "what else could they possibly tell us?" He then explains we are both sickle cell carriers, which means we are 25% more likely to have a child with sickle cell disease. At this point our hearts were completely broken. We were told that we would have to perform PGD (Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis) testing in connection with our IVF cycle. This test would enable us to have a healthy baby by testing the embryos for Sickle Cell prior to implantation into the uterus. Depending on how extensive the genetic testing prices can really vary, we were quoted $6500-$8500. 

All we ever wanted to have is a healthy baby, and at that point we were dealt more frustration and hurt that could last a lifetime. Not to mention it seemed as if the doctor was really enjoying telling us this bad news. My husband pulled the reigns because I was an emotional mess. After some heart wrenching discussions at home, we decided to work with a new doctor and a different clinic. This clinic quoted PGD testing at $6500.

If your wondering why the test is so expensive there are a few reasons: First, the test is made specifically for that couple using genetic markers from each partner to locate the potential abnormality within the embryo. It also takes about 3-4 months to create the test. Second, PGD can only test for single cell abnormalities a very precise form of testing. Third, testing happens off site and the results are reported to your clinic.

This brings us to the present. We have since started IVF and have completed two retrievals. During the two cycles we were able to retrieve five embryos. We will go ahead with another cycle once the test is created at that time we will test all the embryos all in one shot at one time. This is where your help is really desperately needed, we started this campaign on this really cool website called indiegogo.

http://www.indiegogo.com/maybes2babies?

There we are able to raise the much needed funds for our PGD testing . The campaign is going OK so far but we still have such a long ways to go. We would really appreciate it if you would check out the campaign and share it with anyone and everyone. Of course we would appreciate any size contribution because that is the whole point of the campaign. We have yearned to be parents for six years and we are so very close to having our dream come true. Won't you please help us get to our destiny, and bring our maybe a healthy baby.

I know all about PGD testing and the cost. When we lost Aubree they explained the possible cause was chromosomal, with a heavy heart our doctor informed us the only we could do another IVF cycle we would have to the PGD testing. In fairness this was our second loss do to chromosomal issues, yes the first one wasn't as far along as Aubree it was still crushing to hear that you have something wrong that can't be fixed so easily.  What most people don't understand is PGD testing is considered an ELECTIVE test and is not covered by insurance. We were quoted about 6K by our clinic.

Before we had to figure out how we were going to pay for the testing we both went in to see a geneticist for what else, genetic testing. Our clinic wanted to see who was the carrier and how those results would affect our future chances of having a healthy baby down the line. After all our testing it was ruled we didn't have to go froward with PGD and were free to try again without it. For most couples that's not the case, while the testing is elective most clinics will not go forward with implantation unless its done. It's devastating to hear. I really hope we can help Tia and her husband achieve their dream, it's the holiday season and time for miracles...everyone should help be that miracle maker.

you can also follow the campain on Facebook.  

Please help, everyone knows something with fertility issues.